My next nighttime appearance was on a show that I never heard of. It is called Whose Line is it Anyway. They said it was all improvisation. They thought I would be very good on it I met some very talented men including. Wayne Brady and Drew Carey. Mr Brady is multi-talented. He can sing and he could dance. He is such a great host on Let’s Make a Deal.
Another gentleman that I met was Drew Carey. Did you ever see him on the Drew Carey show? For years he has been the host of The Price is Right. These two men love to give away prizes.
I didn’t know what to expect from this Whose Line show. I knew I could think quick on my feet but I did not know what to expect. I have to tell you that I have never seen the show that I was on. The audience laughed a lot and so did the guys. They held that show that I was on for a year because they thought that I was a bit sassy. When it aired everyone stopped me on the street and told me how funny it was.
And now…. The nighttime show you all want to read about. So… fasten your seatbelts. I got a call from The… David…Letterman …Show. To be honest I never saw his show. I don’t stay up late at night. David began in a small studio and he kept the studio at around 50 degrees. I was greeted by three of his producers ..Maria P. Mary C and Jill L.
I was carrying a bronze colored metal Halliburton briefcase. The ladies asked me “what’s in the briefcase?“ I told them I couldn’t tell them…they said David doesn’t like surprises. I said to myself. …Who cares?
They advised me not to bring it on the set. Well you know what I did. I walked on the set and put it right on his desk. The audience roared and I waved to all of them. David said I didn’t know you are bringing a brief case on. What is in it ? I opened it and there was $10,000 in one hundred dollar bills. David’s eyes went very wide. He said. What is this for?
“I want you to be in my next Sweatin to the Oldies video. He began to chuckle and told me to put the money away. And…the answer is No. He then looked at my legs …He said “why are you all greased up , Is that baby oil?”.
I looked at him and said this is called Cellular body lotion. By La Prairie I said I have a bottle of the lotion in my small…very small dressing room. I said would you like me to get it and rub some on your legs? He had. look of pain on his face.
Then I took my right leg and lifted it and put it behind my head like a contortionist. David stood up and backed away from his desk.I don’t know but for some reason I enjoyed aggravating David.
His show was moved to the huge Ed Sullivan theater. On my next visit they cut two holes in my tank top and fitted me with a halter that was attached to to a thick piece of rope. Two stagehands lifted me up so the audience couldn’t see me. Then David came out and said “where is my next guest”. And like Tinkerbell I came flying down. When my feet touched the stage they pulled me up again like I was a puppet. They did this several times….Then set me free to sit next to Mr L.
The audience gave me a standing ovation. I have to admit. I think I was one of David’s favorite guests. With my greased up legs I laid on his desk. He said he is going to have the entire desk windexed.
Another time I came from the back of the audience dressed as a chicken. Leslie Wiltshire made my outfit. I was covered with bright yellow feathers and. A head piece that was yellow and orange. You can only see my little face. David looked at me and said. “Take off your head.” And I looked at him and said “Take off your head.”
I was in David’s show many times for the fourth of July. I would sing Yankee Doodle Dandy with the lyrics I wrote.
You are going to like this story which is my favorite. The show asked me to travel to Indiana to do a segment with his mother Dorothy. First Ms Dorothy appeared on a big screen in her kitchen. David asked his mom. What are you doing? The audience began to snicker. “I am in I the kitchen and someone came to spend some time with me.”
All of a sudden I popped up right next to her. I put my arm around her shoulder. Mr L said “don’t touch my mother.” Then I held Ms Dorothy’s hand and kissed her on her cheek. David said. “Go take a shower and wipe your face clean.”
The show told me that my appearances got very good ratings. I did go back several other times. David did not like to be touched. So during an appearance I touched his shoulder. He reached behind his desk and took out a fire extinguisher… then sprayed me from head to toe. I had an asthma attack and the ambulance came and got me. I recovered quickly and went back to my hotel. I realized my appearances on David’s show were over. I hope I tickled your funny bone today.
